[identity profile] cabaretlights.livejournal.com


: Oh this is a big one.

"Faceplant" is one of those songs that's been in my life for so long that it's hard to think it's not intensely formative. It isn't that I heard it when I was a kid, but that it appeared at exactly the right time. There are a few songs in my library like this: notable game-changers, songs which stretched my understanding of what music was and could be, subtle introductions to new genres and ways to create music. And it is songs like "Faceplant" which have, over the years, helplessly "addicted" me to music -- constantly searching for that new high, something fresh and original, recapturing old feelings and desperately trying to form new connections.

In grade 11, I was trying to cement my goth identity. Thing was, in Hudson, goth wasn't really a...viable subculture (i.e. I was the only one). While that made me feel pretty unique, it also alienated me from anyone who could have shown me the gothic light, so to speak. My style, philosophy, and music selections were basically trial and error and the odd Rolling Stone article (at least until I met Claire and Meg and everyone in cegep). I had a ton of metal albums which I didn't really like, but listened to because they were loud and angry and I was a goth!!; I adored Marilyn Manson, but had trouble finding other loud/angry artists with a similar appreciation of melody/audible lyrics. The term "industrial" meant nothing to me.

A 'friend' (if only in the way that high school oddballs tend to congregate into a leftover clique and have to deal with each other) recommended "Faceplant" in January 2003. It was my first real introduction to pop-industrial, which would quickly become a favourite genre. It would introduce me to an expansive, powerful feeling I had never had when listening to music -- one that would precurse and probably provoke my love of breakbeats, electronica, and breakcore. The synthetic and the melodic twisting together -- an addiction waiting to happen, and you can easily trace at least some of its origins to "Faceplant."

This song is also about addiction -- in a really artful, beautiful, extended metaphor. It's in no way original to compare a love story to an addiction story -- but the way it's done here is so fucking excellent. It has some of my favourite lyrics ever, and the way they're performed is just revoltingly good. The description of a sensation, fuck, these opening lines:
Like ecstasy to the spine / A moment of lost words no memory of time / A twist from within
Like the calling of the lord / A shock a convulsion no shape or form / I'm feeling again


I don't know much about genuine addiction. I can't speak to feeling that lack of control, or that particular way of experiencing highs and lows. What I know comes from books, parallel experiences. Really I am not addicted to music, or reading, or anything; objectively I realize that. But that hint of mania -- that wide-eyed feeling that there is more to take in than your body or heart could possibly handle -- that, I understand. It is not always good, or bad, or value-based, at all. It is confusing, explosive, and you will do anything to have it again. Whether through drugs, or love, or media, or whatever your poison: it may not, should not, become a full-blown addiction, but I think (even hope?) everyone has felt the spark of one starting.

I seek you on every corner
Thought you were the devil or maybe my lover
You opened up my eyes.


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March 2014

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