sixty-four (theme: buffy the vampire slayer)

[amethysting.livejournal.com]

The Void
Darkness Falls
Alive in Us
2011

You know, when I borrowed the first three seasons of Buffy from Andrea, I had no idea that I would fall THIS hard for it.  I mean, really, I should have known because my personality seems to be pre-programmed to fall head over heels when I love something (but, even I've got to admit that I never thought I would be eagerly anticipating getting my sweaty little hands on the season 8 comic book series).

I wasn't expecting much from the later seasons of Buffy, because of the general...curled-lip criticism I had heard from others.  But, I've got to say, the later years rank high in my Buffyverse.  The show takes a turn in season 5 (that season and season 4 are my favourites, I think) and I love where it goes from there.  I like how dark it gets and how it doesn't shy away from that darkness or from taking risks.

I downloaded this album recently from indie_exchange and when I heard "The Void" I thought it was a perfect satellite (see, I was somewhat cognizant during the creation of the Compendium, haha) of Buffy.  Those haunted-house-type harpsichords and spooky synths would fit right in on the Buffy soundtrack.  The first thing I thought of--I guess because of the song's title--was "Going Through the Motions".  When I heard that song at the beginning of "Once More With Feeling" I knew that I would love the episode.  Because of the aforementioned curled-lip criticism, I was kind of apprehensive about the whole Buffy musical concept.  But, when Sarah Michelle Gellar burst into song in a graveyard, I was hooked. 

I really liked that everything wasn't perfect when Buffy came back from the dead (haha, like seriously, that is the sentence I just wrote).  I think that throughout the entire series the characters struggle to fill that persistent and implacable void that lurks within each of them.  I especially love the way it comes out in "Going Through the Motions":

"I've been going through the motions,
Walking though the part,
Nothing seems to penetrate my heart.
[...]
Will I stay this way forever?
Sleepwalk through my life's endeavor."

This post is becoming very high school English papery, BUT: another dominant theme in this song that I associate with Buffy is loss.  Dude, like that show is an emotional roller-coaster; like constant grieving.  It's weird with like a TV show when these fictional losses affect you so deeply.  I guess sometimes I find that it's easier to be emotional or whatnot when it is TV-related.  Sometimes I find that TV is a kind of guide for living.  Like despite the fact that these characters make themselves vulnerable only to get hurt over and over again...they keep doing it (making themselves vulnerable, I mean)...and there's something I appreciate about that...because it's something that seems even more difficult than dealing with an apocalypse or vampires and demons.