thirteen

[amethysting.livejournal.com]

Don't Be Mean
The Raincoats
Looking in the Shadows
1996

Fuck, I am like so excited I'm all vibrating-like.

This was not the song I was going to post today.  I was going to post Kelis' "Caught Out There" (Is that cheating?  Like mentioning the intended song?   Haha, oh well...you did mention the other Bowie song in your last post, so).

I guess, before I can even talk about the song I DID choose,  I have to start with rage.
For some reason, even though I don't think of myself as a particularly emotive person, I seem to really internalize people's emotions.  Like a sponge or loofah.  I also often feel responsible for the way someone is feeling (i.e. "Oh no, ___________ is upset.  I have to do something about this right away.")  It's kind of cuckoo and a little exhausting.  And the thing is, that feeling can sort of plague me for days.  Or, I feel so frustrated or angry that I'm, not quite sure what to do about it, but know that I have to do something about it, something that will make me feel better...like being angry is not okay; I have to do something to fix it.  My fixing methods are not so stellar.  Therein lies the problem.

Anyway, I was so sure I was going to post the Kelis song (look at the little KELLS/KELIS word similarity there too...it was like meant to be).  I uploaded it and was listening to it when I started to write my post (or, actually, I just filled in the subject line and pasted in the album cover).  "Caught Out There" has this awesome chorus of "I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!"  Kelis screams it.  It is very enjoyable to scream along to.  I thought, yes, this is a go-to positive-way-to-funnel-rage song.  But, I don't know, I was listening to it, and it wasn't doing anything for me.  I didn't have the vibrating-with-excitement feeling I have right now.

That's when I thought of The Raincoats' "Don't Be Mean".  This is one of my favourite songs OF ALL TIME.  I wasn't sure I wanted to post it now though...I started thinking, "Well, maybe I could post it next week...what kind of theme can I come up with that will fit this song?" 

(Aside #1: I went to find the song on my hard drive AND IT WAS NOT THERE.  I had the perplexed and alarmed face, couldn't find it to download, bought it on iTunes and was like "What the fuck, this IS NOT the version I know.  This version sucks ass.  It's missing the intensity of the version I know.  I WILL NEVER FIND THE VERSION I KNOW.  Oh God!  Oh no!  Maybe I imagined that version.  NO!"  Anyway, a little allmusic search and I found the album with the proper version.  Like, I can't explain my relief, I thought this song was lost forever and I would be forced to prowl used CD stores until I found a hard copy or listen to the crap version I bought for $0.99).

(Aside #2: The Raincoats are an mostly all-girl punk band formed in London in 1977).

And then...that fucking throbbing guitar that starts this song off...like I was so happy to be reunited with that sound that I nearly passed out right here on the floor under my coffee table.  And then Gina Birch starts in with that voice...an echo-y whisper, up-close to the mic, she sounds like a pissed off stalker.  I love how the drums come in (a good build-up song) and how the music gets gradually louder and noisier and angrier and more and more like a scream.  The violin.  Jesus.  Like, it comes out of nowhere and fits in seamlessly.  The Psycho stabbing theme at the end...when she sings "Goodbye, dear.  Goodbye" it makes me smirk in the most satisfying way.

The lyrics are brilliant.  I think they are so, so, smart. 

"I saw you out walking down Westbourne Grove
You caught my eye and your arm it rose
It rose in the sky, oh ever so high
But it wasn't, my dear, to wave to me
It was simply to hail a big black taxi
Which you jumped in as fast as you possibly could
Well you know my dear, I'm not made of wood
And my name may be Birch dear, but I'm not a tree
And I can see you ignoring me"

The line about the tree...I love the play on words, I love the snarkiness of it, I love that it is the comeback I wish I could come up with on the spot when someone is being an asshole.

I love how her voice lilts when she sings, "If and when, we're old and grey"; it's this kind of unexpected sweetness, or softness; like that violin.  I appreciate that she says she's "open to sway", like she hasn't completely written this jerk off.  THERE IS STILL perhaps A GLIMMER OF HOPE?  Hahahahaha.  Also, she does acknowledge the fact that she "behaved badly", but like that is no fucking reason to be mean.

And, the scene she describes in the park...like it is pretty freaking hilarious:

"We'll sit on a park bench with our grandchildren dear
And you'll catch my eye and shout, come over here
But it won't be me that you're calling dear
It'll be your young Jenny or Jimmy or Jack
And HA one of us is gonna have a near heart attack
'Grandad, grandad what's wrong with you?
Why oh why are we rushing to the zoo?'
'Shut up Jimmy stop your talking
Just grab my hand and keep on walking!'"

Gina Birch sounds crazier as the song progresses.  However, despite the fact that she sounds increasingly imbalanced, I am always completely on her side.  That "DON'T BE MEAN!  DON'T BE MEAN!  DON'T BE MEAN!" comes out of my mouth with such ferocity.  Such earnestness.  With a toothy smile.  With a spray of angry spittle.

Comments

[cabaretlights.livejournal.com]

Like I will leave a more detailed comment explaining exactly how much and why I love this song, oh my god, but I just had to say that it fucking KILLS. KILLLLLS. ME that we both used the adjective "throbbing" to describe the openings of our songs this week. Like honestly what are the chances of that?

[amethysting.livejournal.com]

Haha, no way! Oh yeah, you're right! Dude, I feel that it would be really scary if we posted the same song on the same day. A little Twilight Zone moment...

[cabaretlights.livejournal.com]

ALLLL FUCKING RIGHT.
I can't believe how long this has taken, hahaha, it's humiliating. And this is another Kate Bush situation where I'll probably have to return with stuff I forgot at some point, but! Let's do it.

1) I just...love this song so much. It gets its own number because it's one of those songs/posts where there is a lot to say, and I worry that how much I LOVE the song gets lost in all the commentary, so: I love this song so much.

2) I keep meaning to download the Kelis song -- and I will! I TOTALLY THOUGHT IT WAS KELLS AT FIRST, BY THE WAY, hahaha, the font on my journal makes 'i's and 'l's look similar and um I died. I fucking love the "positive way to funnel rage" thing, yes -- scream it out. Scream it out.

3) Re: sponge of peoples' emotions...I think what you mean, and it's brutal & I hate it. Taking on responsibility for something you have no control over -- i.e. someone else's emotions -- one of the worst positions to be in, seriously. But, another reason music is so powerful, I think: the cathartic and somehow individualizing -- separating! -- properties...music itself is a fixing method. Or can be. ♥

4) This post is so awesome, dude, hahaha -- I've returned to it a few times (*cough* in hopes of finally getting the comment written), and every time I read it I grin; it's so heartfelt and I love it. AND, I love how for some songs/posts there really is that vibrating feeling.
And this: "Also, she does acknowledge the fact that she "behaved badly", but like that is no fucking reason to be mean." makes me fucking die every time hahaha

5) THE LYRICS, OH MY GOD, THEY JUST KILL ME SO HARD I CAN'T EVEN. Like I have actually started giggling in public at the zoo verse -- she sounds fucking crazy, and it's amazing. hahaha I'm listening to it right now and dying, Julie's going to kill meeee! OKAY BUT YES, the lyrics in general are just so fabulous. I love how she switches from speaking quickly and storytelling to the lovely lilting bridge, and then to the explosive "Don't be mean!" culmination.
"Yes you left, and I behaved badly / But you know at the time, I loved you so madly" = probably my favourite line if only because of how honest she sounds when she's saying it. Just so great. All of it. ALLLL of it.

6) I didn't notice the Psycho theme until later in my listenings (my playcount for this one is something insane in the double digits), and like that kills me too. God. hahaha

7) I love how this song builds.

8) This is one of those songs that I know beyond doubt I'm going to have happy feelings attached to for the rest of my life. Despite the anger and the crazy and the freaking out, it's one of the most uplifting songs I've ever heard.

and finally,
9) Dancing to this, with you, is among my favourite memories of all time.