♪♫ ♪ ♪♫

Fruit Fly
Nada Surf
Let Go
2002

When we started 5pm_weds , I knew that I would eventually post a Nada Surf song.  But which one?  You know, I might end up kind of breaking my own unwritten rule and eventually post ANOTHER song by them one day...they are THAT much of a defining band for me. 

I don't remember how I discovered them, but this album was my first.  I actually don't own a real copy...just this burned CD of individually downloaded tracks...I used a clear blue jewel-case that I had been saving for something special; the cover art consists of water and sky and fish and a guy holding a surfboard (HEY, I was young, so I went for really literal cover art, but WHATEVER).  There are pops in the seconds between the end of one song and the start of another.  I'm sure the sound quality is not super.  I have listened to this album hundreds of times. 

I saw Nada Surf live twice.  Both times with my dad.  It was one of those concerts where I knew every single word to every single song.  I knew what the band members looked like (a trio...the bassist is kind of mesmerizing...he holds wobbly, smoking cigarettes whilst playing, and he has the most beautiful dreads).  I love the lead singer's voice (there's that whole voice thing again) and how three people can create such...sound...sound that swallows me.  (Aside: I am listening to the album from the beginning at the moment, and haven't gotten to "Fruit Fly" yet...and like...I NEED to post other songs too, hahaha...OH, OH, OH a Nada Surf Primer!  Well, unless you totally already know who they are, I guess that would be redundant).

This is perhaps one of the saddest songs I know (or the saddest song using the image of a fruit fly, anyway).  I love the opening guitar, it's so gentle...and kind of a weird contrast to what Matthew Caws is saying (the opening lyrics are pretty funny) and the sound of his voice.  That guitar, the kind of flicking sound...the image of a drunk, hovering fruit fly comes to mind.  It makes that image of the fruit flies as "snowflakes in the air" that much clearer.  The "I" in the song shifts around...it starts off as I = human and then morphs into I = fruit fly...I think that that is what makes the song so smart.  The shift happens when the drums pound in...when that peaceful existence becomes frantic panic.  (Aside on the drums...I love the cymbal usage in this song, like really).

When we hit that shift, you kind of find yourself relating to the fruit fly...these words, they break me.  I like how the speaker sounds so tired, but hopeful.

"Left, straight, right, straight
I can't find a reason
Nothing looks right
Nothing smells right
And I can't land [...]
What can you do, but go on?"

I think the pitch of his voice hits when he says the line, "What can you do, but go on?" is so...necessary.  It's when this lump builds in my throat.

You may be thinking, "Yes, this is all fine and dandy, but what the fuck does all this have to do with EYES?"  Well, let me tell you.  While "What can you do, but go on?" and "I cannot measure up to you" are lines that kill me, the lines that always float around in my head--that make me saddest--are:

"Geometric patterns smearing out of control
Only have enough gas left
For the beer can to the bowl"

That image.  It's like a haiku.  I just imagine an insect's compound eyes...how all those lenses must distort things...and how the sensation of being disoriented must be an even worse feeling because of that.  They are the lines that make the fruit fly...human.  And that shift of speaker, that blurring of "I"s (DUDE, DO YOU SEE THE LITTLE PLAY ON WORDS THERE?) makes absolute, perfect sense.