post thirty-six (theme: all about the words)

[amethysting.livejournal.com]

Ghost World
Aimee Mann
Bachelor No. 2 (or the last remains of the dodo)
2000

I think this is among my favourite themes because:

1) I AM all about the words.
2) It was a challenge. 

I wanted a to choose a song that was important to me.  I wanted a song that had the kind of lyrics I want to tattoo to my body.  I wanted a song that I can sing from beginning to end--a song that I can't help but mouth the words to. 

When I first started working at Indigo, they had an employee lending program...you could borrow books and CDs for two weeks and then return them (they do not do this anymore, OBVIOUSLY).  I didn't really like borrowing books because it was too stressful--what if something bad happened?!  Books from the store didn't have the safety net of plastic covering that a library book had.  So, as a result, I mostly borrowed CDs.  Burned them.  Returned them. 

This was the first Aimee Mann CD that I really listened to (five albums later, she is a favourite).  I liked the songs she had recorded for the Magnolia soundtrack and loved the look of this CD.  It was so slim and the cover was such a pretty shade of green.  I loved this CD after the first listen.  Even before my two weeks were up, I shelled out 18.99 and bought it (CD prices at Indigo were ridiculous).  I needed to own it.  That copy.  The one that I had spent time with.

I associate this song with graduating from high school, but even more so with graduating from McGill.  In the months leading up to that graduation, I was filled with palpable anxiety.  I felt like finishing school (forever) was like walking off the edge of a cliff into emptiness.  I had no plan.  No job prospects.  Worst of all was that my depression made me apathetic and disinterested.  I decided that I was going to go to Europe.  For six months.  There.  Now I had something to tell people when they asked me what I would be doing after graduation.  I procrastinated planning that trip.  I had a vague itinerary in mind and had bought my plane ticket and some Eurail passes.  The thought of flipping through my weighty copy of Let's Go Europe 2005 made me queasy.  But I was going to do it.  I was going to tough it out.  I was going to leave all of my insecurities and disorders and vices behind and just be.

That summer after graduation...and then on airplanes and trains in Europe...I subsisted on this song.  These words were my words.

"So, I'm bailing this town-or
Tearing it down-or
Probably more like
Hanging around,
Hanging around

Everyone I know is acting weird
Or way too cool
They hang out by the pool
So I just read a lot and ride my bike
Around the school

And all that I need now
Is someone with the brains
And the know-how
To tell me what I want anyhow"

Comments

I swear I swear I didn't read yours first!!

[cabaretlights.livejournal.com]

How the fuck did we both pick a song referencing a Europe 2005 trip.
LIKE HONESTLY,
sometimes this community creeps me out a little,
in the best possible way.

Re: I swear I swear I didn't read yours first!!

[cabaretlights.livejournal.com]

Good lord. Remind me not to drunk-comment on anything. I didn't really even read your beautiful and really heartwrenching post fully...I will be back with more detail & specifics but. Sorry. Haha

Re: I swear I swear I didn't read yours first!!

[amethysting.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, dude, I get creeped out too! Like THEME ON TOP OF A THEME. My face was all like this o_O and then like this :D.